MOJO JOJO to the RESCUE!!

Because I am a girl in which nostalgia permeates her to the very core 95% of the time, I do clicks and flips through old photos late at night before I go to bed (this often comes from Facebook because it's up and ready for me to look at on my laptop...which is on my nightstand 9 times out of 10).

There are certain photos that strike me each time - I suppose it's whatever I'm in the mood for. Tonight, the photo above struck me in particular. I think it was one of those dead AP Exam review days at the end of Senior year in high school. My three closest friends and I were sitting in the imprisoning Calculus BC classroom. I do believe we were all bored...just sitting there...wallowing in stress...Let the Good Lord help us. And I guess this was just kind of our humorous release from it all. I don't really recall how it started - but I do recall being totally and completely repulsed by one of my friends because she liked the Powerpuff Girl, Buttercup. I hate Buttercup completely and utterly; she is very simply absolutely despicable. But that's besides the point.

The point is, I've come to realize I have a problematically difficult time letting go of the past. Not quite as in I remember all the horrible memories and hold grudges or am overcome by regret or anything like that. It is something more along the lines of, "Oh, how I wish I could've continued to live in that moment." But then again, my scrambling mind often takes me into daydreams of the great things I'd accomplish in the future and blah de blah de blah. The thing is, I never appreciate the present. I mean, I do live in the present - quite often, in fact. But do I ever find myself in gratitude because of what is happening rather than what had happened or what could happen? Nah. No. Never. Wow, I stink.

I've come to a revelation...a realization in which I could or could not have come across in the past before and just completely forgot (because I do this quite often, and also why I decided to blog so I can conquer all my racing thoughts and my inability to materialize them). Nevertheless, the revelation is that, it's not enough to live in the present. I have to make an effort to just breathe and scan all around me. Just observe and turn my head 180 degrees, 360 degrees, or anywhere in between - you know, whichever I prefer or whatever my line of sight is limited to. And then I need to tell myself how absolutely delightful it is to witness a guy with three piercings on his eyebrow (oh, and on his nose and ears) or to wonder why in the world that lady of at least 40 is wearing a cut-off denim miniskirt while pushing a stroller (or maybe she just over-baked and her skin is now too much like leather). Why? Because those are the things that keep your mind oiled and your thoughts entertained. And it will keep me from sloshing around in bittersweet memories or stresses of things to come. I laugh whole-heartedly but I want to live in my laughter as well.

So, I suppose from now on I can try to digest the potentially engaging adventures in present life rather than regurgitating it all immediately after I lay my eyes upon whatever current setting I am in...including now in which I am presently reveling in the delicious, minty flavor of my sugar-free gum that I am about to spit out and then get some shut-eye. :)