Funny how adversity works in an environment lacking diversity

I really do suppose you never know what you're missing out on until you experience it.  What I'm about to blog here is going to sound like a complaint against South Carolina, so you've got to know now that the palmetto state is still the charming state that's so dear to me and will forever be in my heart. (Not to mention, I miss all of you great people so absolutely terribly!)

The reluctance.
Firstly, I love Texas, I really do.  I had some serious qualms about coming here at first.  My friends knew how adamant I was about staying in South Carolina, but my parents wouldn't budge.  So, Texas it was.

I can't really say that it was an easy adjustment.  I came to Austin, TX - somewhere far, far different from the good ol' conservative sweet Carolina.  Everything kind of just hit me hard at first; there was way too much to take in and my head spun in a whirlwind.

Well, after a year, everything's been rather marvelous.  And it turns out, I don't think I was ever meant to stay in the palmetto state.  I've encountered so many amazing opportunities and gained so much more insight - all of which would have been absent if I had never come crawling into Texas.  But the thing is, all of these great things presented themselves to me only because I told them to "come hither."


I wasn't always a hard worker; that side of me came later in my juvenile life.  I remember that in the earliest days of my life in Michigan, I was just a wild little girl who would ride her bike with her roller blades on and then just jump off and start rolling away.  I wouldn't dare touch a book or even a pencil, rather.  And even now, some of those tendencies come out - contrary to popular belief (at least for those around me), I have to control myself aggressively and unyieldingly to hone in my diligence and responsibility.  So what made me so fervently determined to be successful?

The revelation.
The discrimination in South Carolina.  It wasn't a loud, blatantly obvious discrimination.  It was the more subtle kind, basically the denouncing glances I would get from both white strangers and black strangers (ironic, huh?).  Often, the only time a person didn't shoot me a superior look was after they had gotten to know me (and now, I'm still getting adjusted to the positive attention I'm getting in Texas that I feel so uncomfortable with).  The thing is, I never wanted to notice this repressiveness, I only allowed myself to be scarcely aware of it (because I'm the type of person who likes to believe in the good of everybody).  Instead, I'd redirect my energy into putting myself into as many of high school's spheres of influence as possible - marching band, student council, various leadership/service organizations, pageants.  I've done it all and God knows what else.  I've never let it known that I felt suppressed growing up in such a beautifully charming state (until now, that is, and I feel like I'm baring my soul as I am typing this).  I suppose you can say I almost imperceptibly felt the need to get myself out there and put on the most respected image possible for all the people of my own ethnicity. This is where my commitment, perseverance, and ambition comes from.

The reality.
Now, however, I have decided that Asians just aren't fully accepted in that region. I have finally become open to facing the hard reality.  And I am so thankful for having been trampled and stifled because I have learned how to dig myself out of all debris on the top of many restrictive holes that I find myself in.  It's funny how this adversity from lack of diversity can really make a person better than they would have been if he/she hadn't been forced out of the comfort zone.  And now I'm just so happy in Texas, I feel so exhilarated to be able to utilize these skills I've acquired in such an uncompromising environment (though I still have yet to learn even more skills).

The side note.
Lastly, to all those South Carolinian friends who end up reading this:  Don't tell me that the discrimination doesn't exist because we all know it does.  I don't mean this in a rude way, but you've got to admit that it's a matter of truth.  But I still love you all, unquestionably so :).